By Your Side
by Sumeragi Sui
Summary: [Tokyo Babylon] Is it possible for a yumemi to fall in love? Hokuto is a hyper, insanely genki twin, and Kakyou is a lonely soul. If you mix these two together, what exactly do you get? [KxH, of course.] [The end. Chapter 8 UP.]
1. acquaintance

**By Your Side**

Sumeragi Sui

Warnings: None... I think.

Disclaimer: Hokuto-chan, Kakyou, X, TB, etc., etc., etc. All belong to CLAMP, not me.

Notes: As was the Setsuka/Seishirou fic, I'm not 100 sure about what goes beyond Kakyou and Hokuto's relationship other than the hints and character files and stuff in X and TB. So don't kill me if something is slightly off kilter. And, for once, it's not a POV fic! Rejoice! Enjoy.

* * *

Kakyou sat silently in the gloomy, almost pathetic atmosphere of his dwellings. He could not see where he was, but he had a vague sense given to his dreamseeing. After all... he was a yumemi.

Being a yumemi didn't have its advantages, though. Not being able to see the outside world, forever trapped, kept alive by machines, sightless, speechless, an invalid. Useless, except for the sole fact that he possessed the curse (some called it a gift) of seeing the future in dreams...

Watching people die, watching things get destroyed, watching the world's destruction... those who dubbed it a gift were certainly misled, Kakyou mused with a forced amusement. He once thought he'd go insane merely because of forced, false claustrophobia. The agony of it all was enough to bear. He was stuck in a somber house that was heavily guarded. The agony.

Loneliness.

That was something he experienced daily. He had no connections to the real world, he was stuck forever in his own mind, dreaming and dreaming and dreaming... and nothing else. There was a sort of bitter pleasure to be derived from this-- but he was not antisocial in the first place. He wanted to see the sea, the real sea, for once... once, in his miserable, cold life, cursed to live the role of a dreamseer.

He often felt too many feelings at once. Resentment, anger, depression, worthlessness, solitude, neediness, disgust, bitterness, and sometimes he felt sickened too, sickened by his own existence. This mixture of feelings was all at once everything, yet at the same time absolutely nothing, just evidence of how hollow he'd become.

He wanted to smell fresh air.

But he couldn't, that was the point, the problem. Doomed to lie in a bed, unable to see his surroundings, kept alive by machines, and there were... no windows. None at all.

There was no solution to the problem.

He sighed. He wanted to see someone... _anyone_... just someone who could describe to him the wonders of the "real" world. For the only ones he had conversed with in his life... one included Princess Hinoto, the "dreaming princess under the Diet building"... But... she had not realized... Kakyou had stronger powers than she. He could slip into her dreams unnoticeably and silently watch the princess frantically wish for a different future. This held its consequences, however... it was because of this that he was in a worst state than the princess, not even being able to get out of bed, barely able to move, not acquiring the princess' ability to speak into other's minds... only dreams. He could only exist in dreams.

He still craved outside contact. Someone else to talk to, someone not a dreamseer, someone _normal_...

But perhaps it wasn't even possible.

He exhaled again, sharply this time. The heart monitor beside his bed beeped continuously, but he could not hear it, only sense it in a sort of desperate longing for something more.

* * *

Sumeragi Hokuto grinned at her "adorable little brother", Subaru. He was not younger than her by much; only a few moments or so, as they were twins. They frequently stayed at Subaru's apartment, eating Hokuto's exemplary cooking with the comforting company of Sakurazuka Seishirou, a veterinarian whom Hokuto was keen on pairing with her brother. Some jokes of marriage and a few cookies later, Hokuto announced that, for once, she had tired quicker than her brother.

"Is it even possible?" Seishirou joked with a poorly concealed smirk.

"Ohohohohoho!" Hokuto laughed. She smiled slightly at Subaru, who blushed at the prospect of being alone with Seishirou-san, what with Hokuto "sleeping". "Subaru, now you can bond with Sei-chan without my interference! Future brother-in-law, use this as a wonderful opportunity!" she "ohohoho"-ed suddenly, grinning at Seishirou. He winked knowingly in return, causing Subaru's face to flush bright crimson.

"Well, I best be off! Don't do anything naughty when I'm gone!" Hokuto laughed wildly again, returning the wink to Seishirou and hopping off to her room.

In reality, Hokuto had actually felt more exhausted than she'd ever felt in years. She wondered about the cause of this; was it possible she was sick? _No, impossible_, she thought to herself. She had been invincible all these years, she had never caught a cold, she was strong, she was fine. She tried hard to believe it herself as she collapsed on her bed, fever overcoming her.

* * *

Kakyou sighed deeply to himself. He knew he was powerful enough. He had decided he would attempt to communicate... with someone else. All he wanted, all he needed was a simple, single glimpse, a single word, a single discourse, of another person, and he would be at rest.

Without even realizing, he had conjured someone else to appear, land, in his own dreamscape. A slender female figure of average height was walking slowly towards him in the bleak darkness.

"What is this place... Where am I?" The girl looked interested, yet she showed no sign of apprehension whatsoever. "This isn't my dreamscape..." the girl said in a cheerful voice, looking around curiously. She grinned and chirped happily, "That must mean that this is _your_ dreamscape!" She paused for a second, thoughtfully placing her index finger on her cheek, pondering. "But... how is it that I was able to enter your dreamscape, then? Doushite?" Why?

Kakyou looked melancholically hopeless, and muttered sadly, "Because... I wanted to see someone..." He exhaled slowly, seeming depressed. He paused for a moment, looking down. "Because I have... always been by myself, living in solitude. So I wanted to see others... anyone... anyone would do."

Teasingly taking Kakyou's cheeks lightly with her hands, she grinned and said, "_Anyone_ would do? How could you say that just anyone would do to such a cute girl?" Smiling again, she added questioningly, "Doesn't it make you a little happier to see me? Hrm?"

Kakyou smiled slightly, his spirits raised a little. "I am... very happy," he replied softly, gently touching Hokuto's cheek.

"I'm Hokuto! Sumeragi Hokuto." She offered her hand very willingly for Kakyou to shake. He did so, and in a small, quiet voice, he answered, "Kakyou. Kuzuki... Kakyou."

"Well, calling you Kuzuki-san would be a bit too polite... may I call you Kakyou?" She smiled, tilting her head slightly to one side. He nodded slowly.

"Why have you been alone all this time? Haven't you ever been outside? ...Was this your own choice?" Sighing, Kakyou shook his head sadly.

Hokuto appeared thoughtful, and then asked cheerfully, "Then, the answer's simple! I'll take you somewhere... So, then... where would you like to go?"

A trace of a desperate smile appeared on Kakyou's face. "As long as it is with Hokuto... anywhere... would do..."

Hokuto's bore a grin masked by a jokingly reproaching look. "You can't just say anywhere will do!" she scolded. "After _all_, this is sort of like a _first date_, you know!"

Longingly, Kakyou eventually managed to answer, "I want to see... the sea."

"The sea?" Hokuto looked pensive, and then changed the scene to one of her favorite beaches. "Well, how about something like this...?" She smiled at the flying seagulls hovering over her head. "The sea in the real world is much more spectacular than this, though," she mused, pondering.

With something somewhat similar to relief, Kakyou sighed contently. Hokuto turned away from the seagulls to face him. "Now that we've gotten to know one another, I'd like to see you! And not just in dreamscapes... in the _real_ world."

At this, Kakyou seemed saddened at the prospect. Hokuto looked at him with a curious expression. "No... that's not possible. I can never... go outside. Never... ever."

Hokuto just smiled knowingly at him. "Nothing's certain in this world! After all, you have Sumeragi Hokuto-chan by your side! Now, let's go!" She offered her hand to Kakyou, grinning almost mysteriously.

Weakly, Kakyou attempted to take her hand. But as he did, the dreamscape vanished. Where... was Hokuto? Had she awoken, temporarily erased from the dream world...? He focused on the scene in the distance. Two figures... one female, one male... under a massive sakura tree. For some reason, the girl was asking the man to kill her... Kakyou tried to make out her words... so she could... so she could bring her brother back to reality. The girl... she seemed familiar... she almost seemed like...

"Hokuto! HOKUTO! HOKUTO!"

* * *

_> acquaintance / e n d ;_


	2. kaleidoscope

**B y Y o u r S i d e** _; k a l e i d o s c o p e \ \ _

Disclaimer: Hokuto-chan, Kakyou, X, TB CLAMP's stuff. Not mine... I wish. Oh, and the song "Echo" by Trapt is... well, copyright Trapt. The Ayumi songs are copyright Hamasaki Ayumi.

Notes and Warnings: Perfectly clean. Not an ounce of naughty stuff, yaoi, incest, whatever. Wow, all the stuff I like isn't in this story. Then why am I still writing it? I have no idea. Well, because Hokuto-chan is adorable and Kakyou is sort of alluring in his own sad, desperate way. And I haven't written something that isn't just a one-shot in a while. Ohohohohohohoho! Prepare yourself for major embarrassment of poor old Kakyou-kun. I'm doing ridiculous things to him, I swear. Anyway, I'm rambling. Enjoy!

* * *

Close my eyes  
Let the whole thing pass me by  
There is no time  
To waste asking why  
I'll run away with you by my side  
I'll run away with you by my side

* * *

"Hokuto..." Kakyou managed to say weakly as he reached for the bleeding image of Hokuto before him. "Hoku... to..." Small beads of tears began to force themselves out of unconscious eyelids in the "real world". In his dreamscape, Kakyou was left sobbing, looking rather pathetic yet somehow captivating at the same time.

Loneliness. ...Again.

He began reverting to his old Wish again. The Wish of... wanting nothing but to die. To perish, to disappear from the mortal world and pass on to something better, or worse. But at least something different. Perhaps a place where he was not obligated to be cataleptic his whole life.

Was it really... too much to ask?

* * *

Sumeragi Hokuto awoke with a start. She found herself in the guest room in her brother's apartment again (for she had the unfortunate habit of staying at his house the majority of the time); it was odd, for she had had the oddest dream the night before. Had she really crossed into someone else's dream? And then, just as suddenly, she had disappeared from the dream, and returned to her own dreamscape. What had truly happened?

"Hokuto-chan?" Her twin brother, Subaru, entered her room, preceding his entrance with a light knock on her door.

Hokuto blinked wearily. She was still tired, but the fever had nearly disappeared. "...Subaru," she said with a sigh of relief.

Subaru gave a small smile in return, and asked almost freakishly politely, "How are you feeling today? Seishirou-san was worried about you... and I was too, of course." He blushed slightly. "It wasn't... that nice of you... to leave me alone with him for one night." He blushed even brighter, and Hokuto was forced to start giggling uncontrollably.

After finally halting her manic laughter, Hokuto said between forced breaths as she struggled to tone down her giggles, "I'm fine. I almost thought I was... _sick_... yesterday... but I'm fine." Smiling reassuringly, she stood up and got out of bed to hold her brother momentarily in a small embrace.

This caused Subaru only to blush more, almost flinching at Hokuto's touch; Seishirou had done the same to him last night, but it certainly wasn't as "small"...

Fondly smirking at Subaru's behavior, she whisked him off. Upon leaving, Subaru managed to stammer, "Br-breakfast's soon to be ready in the kitchen if you need it..." Nodding in return, Hokuto finally let out a long sigh as Subaru departed.

I wonder if what happened last night was real,

she wondered in amusement. She abruptly shook it off, telling herself it was folly, and pranced to her closet, picking out a bunny outfit-- complete with ears and tail-- for the day. It was going to be another normal day, everything was fine. She was going to hang out with Seishirou-chan and Subaru today, just like every other normal day, just like usual, just like always., for some reason or another, she had a very bad feeling about it...

* * *

Kakyou allowed himself a small sigh. He had finally stopped his own depressing sequence of tearing and sulking and feeling absolutely hopeless. There was nothing else he could do, nothing at all for the girl, for Hokuto. He knew what was going to happen, it would only come true in a matter of time, and he could do nothing but stand and watch his only "friend" be killed by someone who was supposedly one of her best friends.

There were all the emotions again, and he whimpered pathetically, reaching out in cold, empty air for nothing. All he could do now... was wait. Continue waiting, for the end of the world, for Hokuto's death, for more dreams... for Hokuto to go to sleep. Maybe he could see her again. At least a few more times, before she...

Suddenly, there was a loud, alarming banging noise from afar. A girl had appeared, flinching as she realized she had fallen from thin air down to the cold floor of Kakyou's dreamscape.

"Hokuto," he said softly with a sigh of relief.

* * *

Hokuto smiled, looking around curiously just as she had the first time she'd ended up in Kakyou's dream. "So it _was_ real, wasn't it?" she thought, smiling at Kakyou. "Are you... Kakyou?"

He sighed contently and nodded. "I'm able to see you again..."

"Yes, that's true," she replied delicately, looking a bit depressed. "For some reason... I had a bad feeling this morning when I woke up. Was that... you?"

Kakyou looked at her in alarm, then shook his head fiercely. He couldn't reveal to her what would happen to her brother, and her best friend... that would be like meddling with fate, with the thin strands of destiny. "No, I just... a dream of the future suddenly appeared to me, and you were kicked out of my dreamscape..." She nodded, as if to say, "_and...?_" He smiled, trying to conceal the sorrow he felt inside. "It was a silly dream. I barely remember it now. It was something about a tree, or something."

"Oh!" Hokuto brightened, seeming relieved. "Then it's nothing bad, or anything, right?" She giggled. "So I was all worried about nothing!" She appeared as her hyper self once again. "So, Kakyou, how have you been? Have you been lonely without me?" Teasingly, she grinned.

"Of course," Kakyou answered, smiling slightly. There was a hint of a smirk on Hokuto's face as she tilted her head thoughtfully.

"Where would you like to go today?" she asked brightly, conjuring a fake map from her hands. As she pretended to study it intently, Kakyou whispered something barely audible.

"What? What was that?" Hokuto inquired curiously, giggling. Kakyou's face reddened. He repeated it, but it was as imperceptible as his last request. "I can't hear you! Speak louder!" she demanded, smirking. His face bright red, Kakyou finally coughed and annunciated,

"...Karaoke."

* * *

Giggling, Hokuto shifted the view to that of a karaoke club. "Well, here we are! A karaoke club. Do you like it?" she asked cheerfully, glancing at Kakyou. He managed a slight grin and agreed. "Subaru doesn't like these, though... he says he can't sing," she added, snickering softly at her brother's shyness. "But anyway, can _you_ sing?"

Kakyou blushed carnation pink. "I've never tried," he admitted slowly, looking sheepish. Hokuto giggled.

"Ohohohoho, then! If you don't know how to sing... we'll just have to _teach_ you how to sing!" Hokuto announced, shaking her fist in the air triumphantly. Kakyou seemed a bit embarrassed at this proclamation. Along with the visualized karaoke scene, flocks of pseudo people had gathered around him, and even though they were fake, he couldn't help but feel hesitant.

"Oh, no, that's okay, I'm fine, I'll just watch you-- "

Hokuto didn't allow him to finish, forcefully pushing him up onto the stage. At this point, Kakyou's face was blazing scarlet as she forced a microphone into his hands.

"Here, sing some Ayumi," Hokuto whispered fiercely, forcing a small sheet of lyrics into his palm.

He blushed again, quickly skimming the piece of paper. "B-but isn't Hamasaki Ayumi-chan... a girl...!" he protested weakly, looking overwhelmed by the fact that he did not know how to sing, nor had he heard the song he was about to sing, nor did he possess a set of female vocal cords.

Hokuto giggled and clapped as the song began to start. Flustered, Kakyou attempted to sing along, unaware of the tune or beat and just trying to play along. "Suki na... mono dake wo... erande... kuno ga... musekinin datte... wake janai..." he managed, choking.

"Suki na... mono sae wo mitsuke... rarezu ni... Sekinin... nante tori you... mo nai... Seou kakugo no bundake... kanousei wo... te ni shiteru..." Kakyou stammered, turning red act the fact that Hokuto was cheering (quite loudly) for him amidst the large crowd of people that had gathered.

"Iranai mono... nara sono doujoujin... marude yakuni mo... tatanai ne... daiji na mono... nara soko ni kanarazu... itami tomou... hazu... dayo ne... Hitoribocchi de kanjiru kodoku yori... futari de itemo kanjiru kodoku no hou ga... Tsurai... koto no you ni... Donna... kodoku ga otozure you to..."

"You're getting the hang of it!" Hokuto shouted at him from among the masses, smiling encouragingly at him. He began to grin a little as he continued to sing.

"Donna itami wo uke you to... Kankaku dake wa tozashi chaikenai... Tatoe kotoba wo nakushitemo... Ikura dou demo ii... nante ittatte... Michi ni tsumazuke ba ryoute tsuiteru mamotteru... Sonna mono dakara... Yubikiri wo shita ano hi no yakusoku wa... Hitori ja mamori... you ga nai... katari akashita itsuka no yume datte... Hitori ja kanae you mo nai... Dare ni mo ienai dareka ni iitai... Ano hito ga dare yori taisetsutte... Dokoni mo nai basho de... Watashi wa watashi no mama de tatteru yo... Nee kimi wa kimi no mama de ite ne... Sono mama no kimi de ite hoshii... dokoni mo nai basho de... Watashi wa watashi no mama de tatteru yo... Nee kimi wa kimi no mama de ite ne..." He took a deep breath; he had been singing the whole thing almost nonstop since he'd started.

"Itsumade mo kimi de ite hoshii..." he finished, breathing heavily but grinning a bit more than usual.

"So, that wasn't that bad, was it?" Hokuto asked as Kakyou jumped down from the stage, blushing and looking daintily flustered.

"N-no, it wasn't, it was actually sort of fun," he admitted, smiling. "But now... it's your turn!" he said whimsically, pushing Hokuto towards the platform and grinning.

Hokuto showed the faintest sign of blushing on her face as she grabbed the microphone and tried to appear energetic and fearless, her usual cheery self, while shrouding her small yet slowly growing apprehension. "O-okay, then... Umm..." She made a selection on the machine and coughed as the song was starting. "Atarashiku, watashi rashiku... anata rashiku..."

"Itsuka futari ga mada... koibito to yobiaeta..."

She continued ceaselessly and uninterrupted until the ending, when she bowed, sweating madly.

"Wonderful," Kakyou commented softly.

Hokuto skipped down the flight of stairs cheerfully and smiled. "That wasn't so bad either! After all, a cute girl like me also has some talent you know!" she said triumphantly, looking proud.

Kakyou smiled and said contently, "It was beautiful!"

Hokuto beamed, then looked at her watch. The neon green digital numbers read 9:04AM. "Oh, oops, it's almost time for me to wake up!" She grinned at Kakyou and unexpectedly gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Immediately, Kakyou blushed a blazing shade of color. "Don't miss me too much," she whispered seductively, and ran out the door.

* * *

> k a l e i d o s c o p e / e n d ;


	3. foreordained

**B y Y o u r S i d e **_> f o r e o r d a i n e d ;_

Sumeragi Sui

Warnings: Nope, none. Clean for the most part.

Disclaimer: Hokuto-chan, Kakyou-kun, Subaru-kun, Seishirou-san, X, TB, etc., etc. all copyright CLAMP, not me.

Notes: I honestly am totally unsure about how long this whole story will be.Should I stop now meaning at a few more chapters or write a few meaning 10 more chapters, or just go with the flow until I feel like it's come to a definite ending point?What do you readers think?While I'm pondering this, please enjoy. Kakyou may seem a little bit OOC at times, but keeping in mind this was in the TB era when he was still a teenager I think

* * *

_...their destinies were foreordained..._

* * *

_; t e a /_

Hokuto-chan seemed faintly uneasy as she calmly sipped her tea. Kakyou glanced at her with slight concern, frowning at the way she had been rocking her legs back and forth and clutching the table as she rocked, content yet still apprehensive.Kakyou coughed, attempting to shake Hokuto out of her trance. Her eyes widened in surprise at the sudden break of silence, and she managed a yawn, smiling as if she'd just awoken from a long slumber.

"Hmm... Oh, yeah, what were you saying?" Hokuto chirped cheerfully, still appearing disoriented and pouring herself some more tea from the elaborately designed pot Kakyou had materialized in the dream.

"I'm not quite sure," he replied seriously, looking at her anxiously."I just asked how you were and then you went off into your own world," he said softly.Hokuto blushed lightly.

Accidentally knocking over her teacup and spilling her tea all over the table, she tried to clean it up while stammering nervously, "I-it's nothing, really!Just that..." She paused, looking fearfully uncomfortable and fidgety at the same time.

Hesitating slowly, Kakyou frowned."Just that... what?" he asked curiously yet restlessly while taking a battered cloth for himself from the cabinet.He began to help Hokuto mop up the mess, expecting an answer and looking almost impatient.

"Oh, well..." Hokuto sighed, finally looking more relaxed. "You're a yumemi, aren't you?So you must obviously believe that the future has already been chosen, right?"

Kakyou gave a small grin and shook his head simply, seeming somewhat immersed in thought."It's not that I believe it," he said finally, exhaling."It's that I wish it wasn't true, that it wasn't going to really happen.If I weren't a dreamseer, I would like to believe that we decide our own future, because it's ours, and we should choose what happens to us.But, like they say... wishful thinking, eh?"He smiled darkly, as Hokuto appeared to be a bit surprised by his answer.He grinned cheerfully in a sudden change of mood and asked, "Why do you ask, Hokuto-chan?"

Hokuto finally started to look serious, and even grave, for the first time that day."I have a bad feeling..." she faltered for a moment, looking ambivalent."...about Sei-chan.I don't know why... but it just suddenly came to me... like... staying friends with him isn't a good idea.But we've only been friends for maybe ten months or so..."

At this statement, Kakyou became shakily unsettled and mumbled, "Wh-why do you think you feel that way...?Has he been acting s-suspicious lately or something?" he managed to say, plastering on a fake, understanding smile while shivering inside.Was it possible that she had some feeling about what was going to happen in two months, to her brother, her best friend, and herself?

Shrugging, Hokuto seemed worried."I just don't know... it worries me... like something bad is going to happen to my brother... Subaru-chan... I don't know what I'd do if I lost him, Subaru-chan is the person I love most in this world, but he has no attachment to life, he's so selfless, he'd die for anybody else if it meant they'd be happy... he's such an innocent soul..."Almost looking as though she was on the verge of tears, she forced a grin, although it was lacking her usual spunkiness.

She sighed, as Kakyou watched her with slight worry.Hokuto continued, seeming stronger yet at the same time weaker with every word."I want him to be able to enjoy life, to love someone and want to be with them.He's such a pure soul... he worries for everyone _except_ for him... I'm worried he'll just let himself die for the sake of someone, _anyone_ else... but at least, at least it should be for someone he loves."

Pained with the burden of knowing exactly what would happen to Hokuto's brother, Kakyou muttered, "Would you like him to die... for you?"

At this Hokuto looked stern and even offended."Of course not!" she cried indignantly, insulted that he had even thought of such a thing."No... I want him to die... for Seishirou-chan... because I know Subaru loves him, and maybe not in the way he _thinks_ he loves him in... but he won't admit it...It's just that, now, with this feeling, I'm not so sure I should still be putting them together."Kakyou nodded absentmindedly.

"Sei-chan... sometimes seems suspicious," she sighed calmly, appearing to becoming more content and less emotional."His last name is Sakurazuka... and the Sakurazukamori is always in the Sakurazuka family... but even if Subaru says Sei-chan is 'too nice' to be an assassin, for some reason, I don't know... I keep on asking Sei-chan about it, and he never answers my questions, and even if we're just joking..." she cut herself off, and blushed."Oh, I've just been rambling about my own troubles without a care for yours, Kakyou-kun!How are _you_ today?" she piped up energetically.

Kakyou smiled, relieved that she changed the subject."Absolutely great, since I have Hokuto-chan with me," he answered, grinning.

_> t e a/ e n d ;_

* * *

"Hokuto-chan, why have you been sleeping so much lately?" Subaru asked with an expression of utmost concern, leaning on the kitchen counter.Hokuto smiled reassuringly in return, but before she could answer, Seishirou walked up to her and placed his hand on her forehead, checking her temperature.

Removing his hand and looking thoughtful, he examined her curiously."Are you sick?"

She shook her head tirelessly and struck a pose."Of course not!Where do you get these ideas, Sei-chan?" she inquired as she ran around grabbing silverware and china for dinner."Subaru-chan!Please help me set the table," she demanded in a motherly sort of tone.Subaru grinned sheepishly and agreed, taking chopsticks and placing them on the table cheerfully.

As they sat down, Sei-chan repeated Subaru's earlier question."So, Hokuto-chan, why _have_ you been sleeping so frequently lately?" he asked inquisitively.

"Ohohohohohohohoho!" came the reply.Hokuto smiled knowingly, placing her finger on her cheek in a teasing sort of way. She winked, her eyes twinkling. "I've been going on dates!" she responded brightly.Subaru seemed a bit confused, and looked miserably perplexed.Hokuto grinned at her brother's obliviousness and turned to Seishirou, waiting patiently for an answer if one came at all.

"Oh, so you've been dating a dreamgazer, I see," he said in an indifferently casual tone between bites. "Does he, uh, tell you any of the dreams he sees?"While Subaru looked at Hokuto for the answer, a vicious gleam appeared in Seishirou's eyes and a corrupt smile on his face for a short instant.Neither twin noticed the older man's rather suspicious expression in that single split second.

"Nope!" Hokuto answered animatedly."Although, sometimes I wish he would," she pondered out loud, looking thoughtful.

Seishirou smiled again, but in his usual "kind" way, like always.Subaru still seemed a bit bewildered, but attempted to keep up with the conversation.They continued with dinner, discussing random topics, from chickens to television shows.

After the meal was finished, Hokuto hopped off in her regular pleasant demeanor to do the dishes and Subaru went after her, not wanting to be caught alone with Seishirou again and helping her clean up.Alone in the hall stood Seishirou, lighting a cigarette and inhaling the smoky fumes in pure satisfaction.He formed a shadow that seemed to suck in all darkness, and there was the evil flash in his aureate eyes again, no longer full of kindness but cold and empty, unemotional and painfully blank.Hollow of any feelings whatsoever.It was a bit unsettling, but to him, this was him, his real self, without the excruciating mask of being carefree and compassionate.He enjoyed the little moments where he could be himself, and he breathed in the smoke, unaware and indifferent of the fact that it was "bad for his health".No, instead, it helped his powers, and he smiled malevolently, pleased."Because we wouldn't want Miss Hokuto-chan finding out anything beforehand, would we?" he muttered under his breath, hissing in a malicious tone.

* * *

** f o r e o r d a i n e d + END.**


	4. jaded

**B Y Y O U R S I D E.jaded**

Warnings: None, nope, nada, zilch I think. It's at least 99 clean... I'm not sure about the other 1.

Disclaimers: As always... the wonderful TB people are © the genius team of CLAMP.

Notes: Yesh, been a while since I updated well, maybe not, but I think two weeks is a while but I've had a ton of homework. In fact, ironically, I'm ignoring a science project to write this. Conventional? Maybe not, but that's how I prioritize badly, I might add. I'm still ambivalent on how long this will be... Maybe 13 chapters, because Subaru is the 13th Sumeragi head? But that doesn't really have anything to do with the story anyway... and plus, I don't think I'll have enough ideas to fill thirteen whole chapters. We'll see. But, anyway... enjoy. Also, Kakyou's birthdate was something fictitious, since I don't actually know what it is, and Hinoto seems to look very young but is very old in age, so yeah.

* * *

_so jaded I can't see straight..._

_this coldness_

_because I won't be able_

_to see you_

_the ignorance_

_bliss, being with you_

_the hurt_

_because I love you_

* * *

You forfeit today, but gain tomorrow.

_Really? Is that true?_

_I would have thought there was nothing to gain from the miserable existence of a yumemi._

Kakyou was beginning to lose hope. Every day he spent with Hokuto, every lingering yet dying moment, meant that the time was inching closer to her death. And she was politely unaware, she didn't know... who her kind veterinarian friend truly was...

He could no longer find himself enjoying their "dates". Worry and anxiousness occupied every second he spent with her, and she mistook it for animosity, for disgust, and she didn't bother to hide her hurt. This made Kakyou even more melancholy... the fact that she would even perceive his feelings as dislike...

* * *

"Kakyou," Hokuto whispered softly with a hurt expression, "be honest... what exactly is wrong?"

He looked at her, and grimaced in his own pain. Once again, she misunderstood. "Kakyou! You need to tell me... do you really hate me that much?" she demanded. She took his delicate face in her hands as she had when they'd first met, and looked deeply into his eyes, fighting back tears.

Kakyou looked hopeless, and sighed sharply. "Hokuto... how could you think I hate you?" he muttered faintly, his fingers affectionately grazing her cheek softly. Her expression softened and she began to blush at his gentle touch.

"Then... why do you wince when you look at me? Why the pained expressions? _Why?_" Hokuto asked. Her usual overly light-hearted self had evaporated into the apparent bleakness of the dreamscape.

"Your brother..." he murmured quietly, trailing off.

Hokuto frowned. "What about my brother? Subaru? Did you... see something about him?"

Kakyou hesitated, than nodded weakly. "But I cannot tell you..."

Hokuto, for the first time, it seemed, glared at him with growing anger. "I have a right to know about my brother, you know! Kakyou, please... just... _tell_ me..." she softened, looking slightly saddened.

"I cannot tell you much," Kakyou admitted, looking at her downheartedly. "But... your friend... the man they call... Dr. Sakurazuka..." he faltered slightly, then continued, "...he will take your brother someplace far from you... physically and emotionally and _mentally_..."

Hokuto seemed alarmed at the prospect. "B-but that time before... when I told you about all my insecurities about Sei-chan... why didn't you tell me anything before?"

Sighing, Kakyou shook his head. "Because I didn't want you to worry more... don't _worry_, Hokuto... everything will be fine..." he lied between his teeth, cursing himself for misleading Hokuto like he was.

"Oh... okay," Hokuto said in a tiny voice, looking uncharacteristically shy for a brief moment. Yawning, she seemed to regain her regular disposition in a matter of moments. Smiling widely as if nothing had happened, she chirped cheerfully, "Where would you like to go today?"

Kakyou grinned sheepishly, reddening slightly. "Tokyo Tower." Hokuto looked curious at Kakyou's red face, seeming as oblivious as Subaru for a small moment.

With a smile, she replied contently, "Of course! Ohohohoho!" Looking relieved at the presence of Hokuto's typical demeanor, Kakyou laughed to himself. He had foreseen the makeshift date Seishirou and Subaru had been on a few months ago, and he had the some sort of idea for today...

* * *

Upon changing the scene of the dream, Kakyou immediately dragged Hokuto up the stairs. She protested lightly, grinning in a sort of jokingly reprimanding manner. "Hey!" she objected, attempting to keep up with him. "Where exactly are you taking me, Kakyou-kun?" she asked curiously. He smiled slightly mischievously, surprising Hokuto with the sudden change of attitude.

Finally stopping in front of a fortune telling booth, Hokuto raised an eyebrow at Kakyou and stood on her tiptoes to whisper into his ear, "But can't _you_ tell the future...?"

Kakyou smiled and nodded. "But I can't..." he whispered, then coughed and said loudly to the woman behind the booth, "Test for affinity, please." It had not been the woman who had done Seishirou and Subaru's test. Then again, Kakyou wouldn't have wanted the same results, either...

Hokuto blushed, her face turning bright scarlet in a matter of seconds, as the woman nodded and shuffled through some cards. "Birth date of the other person?" the woman asked pointedly, still browsing through her cards and beginning to organize them into separate decks.

"Uh, uh..." Hokuto reddened further. It was forbidden for the Sumeragi—namely, Subaru—to give away their birth date and birthplace, as onmyouji. But since it was a fake place anyway, and she knew she could trust Kakyou, she managed to mumble, "February 19th, 1974..."

"Birth place?" the lady continued, continuing to divide the cards.

Kakyou grinned, a bit embarrassed. He knew about the rule of spellcasters to not reveal those types of information. Just as he was about to tell Hokuto that she didn't have to say what it was, she blurted out very loudly, "K-Kyoto! In J-Japan!"

A small group of teenagers snickered at her; who _didn't_ know that Kyoto was in Japan? After all, they were in Japan anyway. One girl smirked at Kakyou, especially at his long hair, which Hokuto personally thought was very beautiful.

Slightly flustered, he looked politely humiliated. Even dreamscapes had its flaws. He jumped as the woman addressed him, caught off guard. "And yours?" she asked dully.

"May 3rd, 1958... born in... Tokyo." Kakyou managed to keep a blank expression as he had said this. On the other hand, Hokuto seemed surprised at Kakyou's birth year. The lady seemed slightly astonished but said nothing, instead bearing a look of stubborn disapproval on her face, seeming old-fashioned.

The girls laughed. Hokuto glared at them, then turned back to face Kakyou. Giggling, she remarked in a teasing voice, "Wow, you're old, aren't you?" Blushing, Kakyou coughed to regain his composure. "I hope the results are as good as our relationship seems to be!" Hokuto continued incredibly cheerfully. Kakyou's face started to redden again, and he seemed slightly mortified.

"Here," the woman droned flatly after she'd finished inputting the information. With her aged hands she handed the two a crisp sheet of paper.

Eyes widening, Hokuto began to grin. "Kakyou, these results are wonderful! Much better than Sei-chan and Subaru's, at least," she commented thoughtfully. "Look, the only part that didn't score high was... the physical factor..." At this both Hokuto and Kakyou began to redden madly. Clearing his throat, Kakyou smiled.

"I guess our astrological signs are compatible...?" he said, face still a deep ruby.

Hokuto giggled loudly. "_Kakyou_..." she said, looking at him with a half-serious, half-joking expression, "we're _perfect_ for each other!" She laughed thunderously, "Ohohohohoho!"

Kakyou blushed, but began to grin in spite of his growing embarrassment. "Y-yes, it seems that... yes..." He continued to bear a slightly flustered smile on his face, and Hokuto unexpectedly embraced him in her euphoria. Taken off guard, Kakyou's eyes widened in awe. The teenagers began to snigger again amongst themselves, but to Kakyou, it actually felt sort of comforting, relaxing... Hokuto's hug was quite fervent, and her touch was pleasantly warm yet at the same time faintly cool...

Hokuto grinned, gently letting go of him. "I wonder... have you ever had a real koibito before?" Blushing and surprised, Kakyou shook his head almost fiercely, sheepish. Several sweatdrops also began to appear on his head for comical effect.

"Well, before you met _me_, you didn't know you could have this much fun, could you?" Hokuto asked, striking a cute pose flauntingly. Dreamily, she held her own face in her hands and closed her eyes reminiscently. "Karaoke, tea, affinity tests, dancing, movies, shopping, foreign delicacies like 'pizza', native foods like sukiyaki and sushi, water skiing, the _sea_..." she recollected retrospectively. Kakyou nodded relatively obediently.

"So... would you say you _love_ me?" Hokuto asked on the spur of the moment in a rather cheerful voice, putting her index finger up thoughtfully. Kakyou fell over bashfully, then regained his calm in a few moments, face crimson. Hokuto frowned, then turned serious. "No, really... do you?"

Turning serious to match Hokuto's mood, his expression became almost grave in its somberness. "... what about _you_?"

Momentarily Hokuto seemed to return to her normal personality. "No, I asked first!" she protested, her expression solemn again. "Um..." Looking slightly uncomfortable, she looked up at Kakyou. "It really just depends on your answer..."

Kakyou sighed, turning away weakly. He smiled to himself. "I don't really understand what 'love' is... I've only seen it in my dreams, and here with you... but I don't think anybody really understands what 'love' is..." He rotated himself to face Hokuto. "But I think my emotions to you can be interpreted as 'love', or at least something close to it..." He smiled at her, blushing and looking flustered. "But, ah, what do I know?" He reddened slightly.

Hokuto smiled. "Then I guess I 'love' you too..."

* * *

_!jaded.END/_


	5. cold

**BY YOUR SIDE ! COLD**

sumeragi sui

Warnings: Er, the tiniest hint of shounen-ai. That's it, save for something that if I mention I'd spoil it, but it's something almost perfectly clean/innocent anyway, so it doesn't really matter anyway. :3

Disclaimers: Sadly, Tokyo Babylon belongs to CLAMP, not me. But, a girl can wish can't she? An excerpt from "Signals Over The Air" by Thursday is... well, copyright Thursday.

Notes: Yes, finally another chapter! Work has been boggling down on me lately, but I almost finished my Subaru costume for RECCA Con this Saturday just need the hat, gloves, and shoes, and cut my hair! so I decided to give myself a break for once and let myself finally get the thoughts I've been piling up in my brain over the weeks I haven't written anything for this story, anyway. I actually lost a lot more sleep than I regained over the period where I wasn't writing for this thing, although I said I would start another chapter once I finished my homework/regained sleep... hehe, none of that happened.

Anyway, this is the one story I am most enthused about writing, and although at times I feel like a disgruntled mangaka with a deadline who just writes down whatever to fulfill that deadline except _my_ deadlines are entirely nonexistent, but I always force myself to write so I can keep on updating at a constant rate. This will probably be a longer chapter, or at least that's what I'm aiming for, anyway.

Right now my brain feels like mush and that's always a good state to be in before writing. snark

Anyway... enjoy, if you can!

* * *

_is there any true meaning in "life"..._

_if there is always death lurking right afterwards?_

* * *

_"But, okaasan... why can't I play outside like everyone else?" a four-year-old Kakyou asked inquisitively to his only parent, his mother. He looked sadly out the window at the other children his age playing catch, while he was stuck inside and constantly sleeping for no apparent reason._

_Kakyou's mother sighed and stroked his hair softly. _His powers haven't fully developed yet... but once they do, he'll never be able to return to reality... fated to live the life of a dreamseer... _she thought, slightly depressed. "Because, Kakyou-kun... you have a gift... something others don't have. You should learn to cherish that gift in the future... even if it makes you sad, if it makes you cry." She paused, kissing his cheek gently and reassuringly. "Will you promise me that, Kakyou?"_

_Kakyou looked faintly confused, but nodded and smiled cheerfully. "Of course! Whatever you say, okaasan!"_

* * *

"Kakyou... can you hear me?"

_Yes..._

"It is I, the yumemi Hinoto, the 'dreaming princess' under the Diet Building."

_I know._

"Oh... yes... of course... after all... we _both_ know...

They wanted me to deliver you a message..."

_They wanted to tell me that my mother had died, right...?_

_I already knew. Just as you know I knew._

"But they still want you to stay alive... you're still vital to them..."

He smiled. _Of course..._

* * *

Smiling downcast and reminiscently, Kakyou remembered the first time he realized he really _did_ love Hokuto...

It was a bleak, rainy day. Coincidentally, it was only a few days after Hokuto had asked if he loved her. The air was frigid and cold, and there was a trace of loneliness, even in the cool wind. Even the atmosphere in his dreams was dark and gloomy, and he could hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops coming down hard on the fragile panels of his usual dreamscape; a traditional Japanese house. It only lacked two things; actual people, smiling and laughing, which would never happen, and, for that day, Hokuto.

He waited. Waited until what it seemed like the end of eternity, except, in reality, it was only a few minutes.

Waiting was one of the few things that had never really suited him. He could have glimpsed into the "future" for the reason why Hokuto wasn't there that evening, except this wasn't about the "future" anymore. It was about the present, and seeing things about Hokuto-- especially if they were depressing-- made him more unhappy than if he didn't.

And for some reason, he started to feel sick without Hokuto. Like a hole in his heart, and it seemed to grow larger with each passing minute. He clutched his chest, struggling almost to breathe. His own brain wasn't allowing him to breathe. He fought against himself, attempting to breathe, to _live_. But what exactly was the point of living if Hokuto wasn't there?

The following day, however, he didn't ask Hokuto once why she had not visited him. Smiling sadly to himself, he reasoned that if Hokuto had something truly important to do, he shouldn't pry. He knew Hokuto to be the kind of girl who wasn't so cruel as to purposely overlook their daily dates. Only something truly significant would make her miss _sleeping_, after all.

Still, he realized once he'd had trouble breathing that he would live, and die, for Hokuto, his Hokuto-chan...

* * *

_where do we go... from here?_

"Kakyou-kun--!" Hokuto greeted cheerfully, immersing Kakyou in a tight embrace. Behind her was a shy-looking boy who looked identical to Hokuto, and a mysterious-looking older man with glasses and a veterinarian coat on. He smiled at Kakyou, but, if Kakyou wasn't mistaken, he saw an unfamiliar flash of a glare and animosity from the man, although it disappeared as soon as it had surfaced.

"KAKYOU! I hope you don't mind me bringing along my brother and best friend today!" she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

Kakyou smiled sheepishly and bowed. "I take it that this is your twin Subaru... and...?" He glanced at the man questioningly, but Hokuto smiled and pointed (rather rudely, he might add, although it didn't seem to matter to her) to her friend, who bowed also.

"This is Sakurazuka Sei-chan! Seishirou." She nodded, introducing the two and playfully forcing them to shake hands. Kakyou's face reddened to a slight pink at Hokuto's informal actions, as she chirped, "Sei-chan! This is Kuzuki Kakyou-kun!" She paused, looking thoughtful with her finger on her cheek and her head tilted slightly to one side. "I'm sure once you get to know him, Sei-chan, you'll absolutely love him!"

Seishirou smiled politely and nodded cheerfully. "Yes, Hokuto-chan, I'm sure that I will become very good friends with Kakyou-san." Unheard by anyone except Kakyou, he added ominously, "_Very_ good friends indeed..."

Grinning apologetically at Hokuto, Seishirou put an arm around Kakyou's shoulders, much to his surprise, and announced, "Hokuto-chan, I'm going to borrow Kakyou for a moment so we can get better acquainted with each other, okay?" Hokuto nodded, hugging her brother, who blushed at his own sister's touch. _He's not exactly a touchy-feely person, is he? _Kakyou mused curiously, entertained by Hokuto's antics while being whisked away at the same time by his new acquaintance.

Once out of Hokuto and Subaru's sight, Seishirou smiled evilly and hissed in Kakyou's ear, "You know, don't you?" As he said this, his fingers found themselves to Kakyou's neck. "You know what happens next... you know what will happen to the boy..." Suddenly, he tightened his loose grip on Kakyou's neck and smiled darkly. "And you won't tell anybody, will you?" he continued in a silky voice. Caught off guard, Kakyou choked and sputtered, managing to mumble frantically, "N-- no, I w-won't--!" Seishirou smiled again in his corrupt way and began to release his grasp on Kakyou. "Good," he said softly. Kakyou looked uncomfortable and massaged his neck, while Seishirou continued in a low whisper, "Otherwise your precious Hokuto-chan..." He made an elaborate stabbing gesture, and smiled. Slowly, he began to lead Kakyou back to the other two, arm still around shoulders.

_It makes no difference,_ Kakyou thought bitterly. _She's going to die anyway..._

Once he saw Hokuto again, he grinned nonchalantly and pretended nothing had happened. He sighed, relieved that what had happened was over, and allowed Hokuto to give him a hug. "See? Sei-chan's not _that_ bad, right? At least, I hope so!" Hokuto whispered in his ear while they hugged, quite carefree. Kakyou blushed slightly and nodded, trying to reassure her.

"Yeah, he's not too bad..." Kakyou replied in a rather disoriented way, trailing off and watching Seishirou tease Subaru from a moderate distance.

_I wonder... do assassins really have a right to live, like everybody else?_

"So, your brother's really quite shy, isn't he?" Kakyou commented, observing Subaru blush an almost unsettling dark red as Seishirou jokingly held him. "So different from you," he added, laughing. Hokuto giggled, looking truly happy at seeing Subaru spending time with Seishirou.

"Yeah, he is... but I just want him to be happy... he'd give up his life, even for a stranger if they were in danger or something..." She hesitated for a moment, and then frowned, in thought. "Is it really so dangerous to have such a pure soul? I wonder..." She gave an apologetic smile and giggled. "Ohohohoho! But, I don't like thinking about such serious things anymore. They're so-- "

She broke off, astonished as Kakyou whimsically kissed her on the lips. After a brief moment, still in shock, Hokuto managed to stammer, "Wha--! Waiii! Kakyou-kun!" She grinned and unexpectedly squealed in delight. "WAIII, you really are adorable! My adorable Kakyou-kun!" She hugged him, and he turned crimson. After a few moments, she asked curiously in a cheerful voice, "Well, why exactly did you do that? Kakyou-kun doesn't _usually_ do things so abrupt and surprisingly..." she thought out loud, looking at Kakyou and smiling.

Kakyou blushed deeper, and muttered simply, "Er..."

Hokuto pouted, raising her index finger with a scolding yet teasing glare, seeming to want to reprimand him for such a short, useless answer.

"I-- uh... I..."

Smiling contently, Hokuto nodded, looking rather curious. "Remember what I said last time? I-- "

"Yes?" Hokuto answered expectantly, grinning in anticipation.

Kakyou reddened again, and muttered softly, "...daisuki."

_I like you..._

Eyes widening to an almost unrealistic size, Hokuto, for the first time in what seemed like centuries, began to blush. "K-Kakyou-kun..." Face burning and red, she muttered, looking slightly away towards the ground, "Well... you know what my feelings are towards you... r-right...?" Kakyou nodded, managing to smile.

"So, I guess that means... er..." Kakyou mumbled hesitantly.

Hokuto raised her head abruptly and piped up, "I know! Let's get married!" She grinned. Kakyou laughed, blushing. Leave it to Hokuto to break a serious, sentimental moment with an unrealistic suggestion. However, Hokuto grinned and smiled shyly to herself. "But it does make me... sort of happy to know that, Kakyou-kun..." Her face flushed.

Unexpectedly again, Kakyou kissed her one last time, and smiled nostalgically. "I think it's time for you to wake up..." He glanced at Hokuto's watch. Her face fell slightly, and she pouted.

"It won't matter if I miss school just once, will it?" she suggested suddenly. Kakyou grinned.

Smiling, he replied, "Hokuto-chan, your education should matter more than-- er, sleeping." Hokuto hugged him again and pecked his cheek gently, ending up licking his ear accidentally. She blushed, and Kakyou reddened too, so they mumbled good-byes to each other, and Hokuto ran to rejoin Subaru and Seishirou, a faint telltale scarlet still remaining on her face.

_this is what you see  
when you look in my direction  
this is how it feels  
calling out what no one even hears _

when you say my name  
want to split it from your lips  
hot like whispers in the rain  
want to stop it in your lungs  
and collect all of your blood

is this how it feels when  
you don't even fit into your own skin  
and it's getting tighter  
everyday and i'm getting smaller  
if i keep holding my breath  
i'm going to disappear

if I keep holding my breath  
all of this will fade away  
if you keep driving we'll be lying in the rain...

* * *

_"Hokuto-san, you can't go with Subaru-san on his trip..."_

_"But why, Obaasan? Why not? I'm older than Subaru, and I'm a Sumeragi too...!" Hokuto wailed, looking at her grandmother pleadingly and holding her hands in a begging pose. Her grandmother sighed and patted her shoulder lightly, turning away to collect a stack of papers that had fell to the floor._

_"But the fact still stays the same that you are not the _head_ of the Sumeragi, and therefore you have limited powers and it would be useless to try to further them." She left Hokuto in the room, miserable and lonely._

_Hokuto began to cry. "S-Subaru is my brother... I want to be able to protect him from anyone... if I can't look after him because I have no powers, then who will...?" She sobbed to herself, weakly wiping away her tears. Sniffing loudly, more tears swelled up in her eyes and fell on the cold ground. "Just because I don't have powers... does that mean I can never be truly a Sumeragi...? And Subaru does... so he won't be able to have much fun when he's little, like I can... it's not fair, that he can't play with his friends and I can..."_

_Weeping, she walked slowly to her grandmother's library and attempted to reach a book on the top shelf. Stacking thick books on top of each other to climb up to the top, she retrieved the book. _Even if I don't have powers _now_... I will... I will, for Subaru..._ she thought fiercely, clutching her book._

_From a distance, someone could have made out the faded letters on the cover. Onmyoujitsu: The Secret Arts of the Sumeragi Clan._

* * *

Is there someone out there you want to protect?

_Who are you?"_

_The girl staring back at her in the mirror smiled._

I am... _you_, Hokuto.

_"... How is this possible...?"_

There is another one who looks like you, but he does not reside in a piece of glass, he is _real_. Is _he_ the one you wish to protect?

_Hokuto nodded weakly, and walked slowly up to her slender mirror and hugged the image in it. "Yes," she answered, whispering softly._

* * *

Returning from another date with Kakyou-kun, Hokuto grinned to herself, biting her lip in contentment. She gradually journeyed to her room and stood in front of her mirror, smiling. _Mirror... I have another person I want to protect. I would protect him with my life... my soul..._

"Kakyou...?"

Hokuto smiled. "Yes..."

* * *

Ending Notes: Well, I certainly can't dub that "short and sweet", eh? I had a lot on my mind, so ... yeah. Hope you enjoyed it, and after writing a long chapter like this it actually wasn't that long... but, meh... I'm very busy lately! I'm probably not going to write another chapter until after half a month or something... we'll see. 


	6. vogue

**by your side + vogue**

sumeragi sui

disclaimers: no suing! tokyo babylon doesn't belong to me, unfortunately. sigh CLAMP owns it.

warnings: really weird hokuto-chan bits, a little OOCness for the both of them or, at least, it's OOC in my opinion; i have no idea what you guys think

notes: i notice i tend to ramble too much in these notes, so i'll make it short and sweet. i'm sorry for no updates, i've been sick/exhausted and my brain has been mush. in fact yesterday i had a fever and a headache and i still do today... but i'm writing another chapter anyway. plus i had an oldschool excuse writer's block. seriously! so i'm using one of my friend's suggestions. anyway, sadly, this will be one of the few last relatively happy chapters before the inevitable you-know-what at the end of TB. waiii... that's too sad to write about! but, in my absence my regressing brain did some research and i found a nice little tidbits that will end the whole story. depending on the responses i get from my loyal readers, and the amount of ideas i can force out, you can either expect two more chapters at least or up to five more to end this.

since i haven't written in a while, and rereading the last chapter i didn't like it much, i apologize if this is as bad-written as i think it is.

that wasn't very short and sweet, but anyway, enjoy!

* * *

"Hokuto-chan, are you..." Subaru frowned as he entered his twin's bedroom, Seishirou following with an amused smirk on his face.

"What?" She giggled, dancing around. She was wearing... a hot pink bunny costume, complete with ears and mask. Subaru stared at her in astonished disbelief.

"Are you going to wear that when you meet Kakyou today?" Subaru asked, hesitating slightly and sweatdropping. Hokuto laughed and hugged her brother, prancing over to her dresser and taking out a tube of bright pink lipstick.

Seishirou smiled at Hokuto as she smeared the makeup onto her lips. "Kakyou seems like a very nice boy," he commented casually. Hokuto erupted into loud laughter that would have embarrassed Subaru if he hadn't been still staring at Hokuto's bizarre outfit. "Ohohohoho, Sei-chan! You're not my father you know! Although you're almost my brother-in-law..." Hokuto and Seishirou snickered simultaneously, leaving Subaru's face to flush gradually five different shades of red.

"Ohohohoho! But, if I don't hurry up, I'll be late!" She finished applying the lipstick, brandishing her fingers in a peace sign. "Subaru, remember to play nice to Sei-chan!" She smiled to herself as Subaru blushed deeper. "And Sei-chan," she began, looking contemplative, "remember to use these opportunities well!" She laughed as Subaru's face turned horribly crimson, and Seishirou put his arm around him, making him redden further. Flashing Hokuto an apologetic smile, Seishirou led Subaru out as Hokuto did her final preparations.

"Today... we're going shopping!" she chirped quietly to herself, giggling.

* * *

Kakyou sighed as he waited for Hokuto to arrive. Hokuto said she had a wonderful surprise today; in slight curiosity, Kakyou wondered what it was. A gift from the real world, perhaps? Something odd? His mind raced through millions of _absurd_ and _insane_, and, he admitted, very _Hokuto-chan_ ideas. As he wondered if Hokuto had done something weird like baked him cookies or something, said cookie-baker popped up in his dreamscape resembling a shocking pink bunny rabbit.

As he gaped at her, she waved a medium-sized purse the same shade of her getup, grinning and hugging Kakyou upon noticing him.

Caught off guard, Kakyou managed to stammer, "H-Hokuto-chan!" Hokuto giggled as she gave him a light kiss on the cheek, causing him to blush subtly.

"You're too much like my brother!" she declared, and then handed Kakyou a train ticket. Staring at it, dumbfounded, Kakyou gave her a questioning look and raised his thin eyebrow slightly.

Holding the ticket in his hand, he looked at it, frowning dazedly. "What's... this for?"

Grinning, Hokuto explained in a cheerful voice, "Although it's completely unnecessary since you can just change the scene of the dreamscape..." she paused, her face bewildered at herself as if to say "why didn't I think of that?" Then she smiled sheepishly and continued, "We're going to go to a mall in Tokyo... to give you a whole new wardrobe!"

Kakyou's eyes widened in alarm. He had seen what Hokuto had dressed up her brother in; insane, brightly colored outfits that made it hard to be unnoticeable. He almost had to control himself from passing out because of this new turn in events. He liked Hokuto a lot, of course; some may even say it was love. But to wear such wild outfits...

_Oh well. _Shrugging to himself, he reasoned,_ It's not like anyone can see me in the real world anyway._

_

* * *

On the completely unnecessary train, Hokuto forced Kakyou to take part in discussions about completely spontaneous topics, such as whether apples or oranges were better. Kakyou would grin sheepishly as Hokuto looked at him in a playfully reproachful way when he politely refused to say either; he preferred strawberries himself._

"WAIIIII, Kakyou! Oranges are so much better!" she declared, glaring at him jokingly. Kakyou laughed softly as Hokuto pranced around the train in her bright pink outfit, scaring most of the other passengers as they tried to move subtly away from her. She pouted at them as she was forced to return to her seat by a slightly embarrassed trainman A/N: not sure of the correct term for this who assured her it was only for her-- and the other passengers'-- safety.

Sulkily, she complained, "I'm just trying to have some fun..." She announced immediately that she was bored again, and Kakyou grinned.

"You're bored with me as your company?" he asked absentmindedly as he skimmed through a book Hokuto had gave him. It was a manga about the end of the world; a girl had to choose between saving all humanity from destruction or rejuvenating the paining earth. Somehow, it seemed vaguely familiar to Kakyou, and he had a rather eerily ominous feeling about it, although he didn't voice it. Still, he didn't think of it... much...

Hokuto shook her head fiercely. "Of course not!" She smiled fondly at him. "Do you like the book? You can have it, if you want." Kakyou had begun to read it properly, ignoring her unintentionally. Rummaging through her purse for a few minutes, she took out a small camera. Surprised, Kakyou didn't have time to shield himself before she took a snapshot, taking advantage of his unawareness. She began to giggle immediately, and smiled to herself. "Now I can carry a picture of this pretty pretty boy always with me!" Kakyou immediately turned scarlet as Hokuto laughed. "Ohohohohoho!"

Nervously, Kakyou nudged Hokuto, who was still laughing and caressing her camera affectionately, whispering, "Uh, Hokuto-chan... our stop will be coming soon... you should get ready." Hokuto nodded firmly.

* * *

Once they had stopped, Hokuto took Kakyou by the hand and pulled him up abruptly, starting to run. Kakyou managed to keep up with Hokuto... sort of. She was dashing at high speed. "Where's the fire?" Kakyou asked teasingly as he struggled to run at Hokuto's fast, gradually speeding up her pace. She exited the train station; they ran quickly on the streets, and entered a huge, slightly crowded mall; they sprinted around in there, too...

Suddenly, they stopped in front of a large clothing store. "...Eh?" Kakyou said, bewildered. Hokuto bent down and used her knee for support, breathing heavily as she pointed to it.

"Your new wardrobe is in there," she panted, catching her breath and straightening herself up. Then she bore her usual cheerful smile and giggled. "I'm so stupid! I brought money from the real world... I wonder if they even take it in places like this... oh well, you can just materialize money, since it's your dreamscape, right?" Hokuto asked, looking up at Kakyou, who gave a start at being spoken to.

"Wh-what? Oh, yeah..." Hokuto grinned and pulled him into the store, where several people stared at their entrance; a pink bunny and a teenage boy had just entered... although in theory Kakyou wasn't really very young. Hokuto ignored the gazes and looks of the other shoppers, pointing to a rack of rather unusual clothes.

Repeating what Kakyou already knew (and slightly feared), Hokuto chirped, "I like to dress up my brother too. But I'm sure that once I'm done, you'll be even cuter than him!" Brusquely she handed Kakyou a few items; an intensely purplish red jacket, a saffron turtleneck, dawn-tinted jeans, lavender socks, and red sneakers. Eyes widening at the ridiculous selections Hokuto had made for him, he nonetheless obediently began to walk towards the dressing rooms, Hokuto still looking at the clothes, humming as she picked out even more garments for Kakyou to try on.

Other customers stared at him once he emerged from the dressing room, decked out in the laughable outfit Hokuto had picked out for him. Blushing, he walked towards her and nudged her on the shoulder. Hokuto turned around cheerfully with another couple of outfits in her arms and squealed in delight. "Kakyou-kun, you look adorable!" she exclaimed excitedly. After a momentary pause, she instantly suggested he try on the other clothes she picked, and shoved four or five brilliantly colored ensembles unexpectedly into his arms, causing him to slightly lose balance. Blushing and complying, he modeled each set of clothes one by one, Hokuto's voice escalating a few notes each time as she shrieked in jubilation, embarrassing and reddening Kakyou more with every outfit.

By the sixth one, Kakyou had grown a bit tired, but Hokuto didn't seem to want to stop. Sighing as Hokuto was about to hand him another pile of clothing, he raised his hand, motioning her to stop. "Eh, Hokuto-chan, I'm getting hungry. Why don't we stop for now and just buy these and maybe come back later or something?" he suggested cautiously, unsure of Hokuto's reaction.

Whimpering and faking sobs, she nodded, rubbing her eyes in a false cry. Then she immediately recovered and bounced to indicate her restoration, and agreed cheerily, "Okay!"

* * *

They found themselves a few minutes later at a McDonald's. Kakyou stared at the fast food restaurant for a few minutes doubtfully, but Hokuto said, "You've never been to one before, have you? They're not very healthy, but you have to try their greasy food at least once!" Still continuing to scrutinize the place rather skeptically, Kakyou nonetheless sighed and agreed, Hokuto abruptly taking his arm and frog-marching in.

Scanning the menu on the overhead, she asked inattentively, "What do you want, Kakyou-kun?" Bewildered, Kakyou browsed the menu too, unsure of what exactly those things _were_.

"They're hamburgers, silly!" Hokuto commented as if she had read his mind. Faintly surprised, Kakyou asked Hokuto uncertainly, "Are the... chicken nuggets good?"

Smirking, Hokuto suddenly broke into loud laughter. "Ohohohoho! But, I should warn you, they just smash together skinned chicken with the bones until they get something mushy enough that you can't recognize," she bantered, seeming evilly satisfied at Kakyou's horrified look.

"No thanks, then," he muttered, taking out the book that Hokuto had gave him earlier. "Hokuto-chan, why don't you order for me then, and I'll find us a place to sit?" Smiling comfortably, Hokuto agreed, turning back to the menu. Clutching the book, Kakyou searched the area for a vacant spot, and promptly sat down, opening the book up.

The manga, he found, was fairly interesting. An apocalyptic tale about the end of the world... it was really quite fascinating, Kakyou thought, as he turned to the page he had left off.

Destiny... Do you believe in it, Megami? A predetermined future... or is it just lies?

Engrossed in the volume, he almost didn't realize Hokuto had returned with the food and drinks. "Here, Kakyou-kun! I got us both double cheeseburgers, they're about the only things I can stand to eat at places like these!" she said, handing him his meal. He nodded, preoccupied with the text, but he did chew on some french fries as he read.

Hokuto frowned crossly, making a long face. "Eh, Kakyou, I didn't take you out or give you that book so you could ignore me!"

Blushing, Kakyou took a napkin and placed it in the book as a placeholder, apologizing meekly. "I'm sorry, Hokuto-chan... this story is just very interesting..."

Hokuto beamed forgivingly, and warmly fed him a french fry, giggling. "I didn't even began to read the book, it didn't seem to interest me much. But if you like it..." Smiling kindly, she sighed, and Kakyou teasingly petted her head as if she were a cat.

"I'll stop reading, it's rude to Hokuto-chan!" Kakyou said suddenly, punching his fist into the air triumphantly, and, rather uncharacteristically.

Laughing again, Hokuto exclaimed, "OHOHOHOHOHO! Kakyou-kun is so adorable." Kakyou's face flushed, and he chose to start eating the food to avoid Hokuto's giggling at his extremely crimson face. But, as usual, she exploded in deafening, joshing snickers. "So adorable," she repeated dreamily, stroking Kakyou's hair in return. His face turned a deeper red, but he attempted to ignore Hokuto's antics, no longer eating.

"Wai, eat, you fool!" Hokuto said suddenly in a reprimanding voice. "Don't be like my brother and starve yourself for no reason!" She forced another fry into his mouth, and he coughed but dutifully ate it.

* * *

"I wonder how Hokuto-chan is doing," Subaru said somewhat worriedly. In the real world, it was growing quite late, but Seishirou laughed.

Putting his arm around Subaru reassuringly and making his face turn cherry-colored, Seishirou said simply, "You worry too much, Subaru-kun. I'm sure she's fine." He patted his tresses a bit patronizingly but also rather romantically. Subaru's face started to glow red.

"S-Seishirou-san!"

Smirking in a rather twisted way, Seishirou annunciated, "I'm sure she's fine."

* * *

"Are we going to shop for more clothes?" Kakyou asked almost anxiously, not wanting to endure another morning like the one he had just experienced a few hours ago.

Sipping her soda contently, Hokuto's lips curled into a playful smile. "It really depends. Would you like to?" she asked offhandedly. "What else do you think we can do in a mall like this?" Kakyou looked disconcerted; he had never been in a mall before, and he was vague about where else they could go. Sensing his bewilderment, Hokuto propped her elbow on his shoulder encouragingly and commented simply, "We could just go home, you know..."

Kakyou frowned, and stammered suddenly, "N-no...!" Hokuto looked at him curiously, tilting her head to one side in wonder. "Uh, Hokuto-chan, can we go to a bookstore?" he suggested self-consciously. Laughing lightly, she replied, "Of course! I'm not too interested in formal literature, but the bookstore they have here also sells manga! Maybe I can get another copy of the book I gave you and actually read it myself!" Kakyou smiled and they made their way towards the bookstore.

* * *

Giggling at herself, Hokuto asked, "What was the name of the book I gave you anyway? I forgot." Sniggering at her, Kakyou proceeded to one of the areas in the store and handed her a book.

"Sadame? That's the name of the book? They called the book 'Destiny'?" Hokuto asked, seeming a bit amused.

Kakyou frowned quizzically, confused, and gave her a questioning look. "How is that entertaining?" he asked incredulously, looking dubious.

Grinning widely at him, Hokuto answered, "There's an exchange student at school from America named Destiny. She's really..." Hokuto trailed off, laughing. Kakyou smiled, nodding sheepishly. "Oh," was all he could come up with, and he went back to the section he had gotten the book from and retrieved a copy for himself. Turning the page, he began to read.

* * *

"The next stop's ours, Hokuto-chan... wake up," Kakyou whispered, lightly poking Hokuto to stir her awake. They were on the train again, but this time for the return trip. Hokuto had been sleeping on Kakyou's shoulder, and she was roused suddenly.

"What time is it?" she asked drowsily.

"About ten thirty... here. In your world... it's nearing the new day," he reported, helping Hokuto regain her posture.

Hokuto smiled. "I should get going then. Subaru must be worried about me... he worries too much..." Sighing, she gave Kakyou a light hug, and he accepted her embrace almost sadly. The day was nearing... the day that Hokuto-chan would...

"I'll see you soon!" she proposed as she got off the train.

Waving weakly goodbye to her, Kakyou sighed and stared at the Sadame books he had bought, and the one Hokuto had gave him.

* * *

_Destiny..._


	7. rebirth

**by your side/REBIRTH**

Disclaimers: I have to put a lot of these for this one, because not only am I basically novelizing the Tokyo Babylon arc "rebirth" TB/5 into story format as opposed to manga format, I'm using the name too. bows to CLAMP So, the name "rebirth", the dialogue and such from TB/5, and characters/basic concept all copyright CLAMP. So, I guess spoilers to TB/5/6/7. Not much Kak/Hoku fluff in here, but it's necessary to proceed with the plot.

A/N: We're slowly closing to the end, guys. cries Second to last chapter, but there IS an epilogue, so rejoice! This might be a long chapter... but I guess for those of you who haven't read TB this is sort of a good thing, since it sorta gives you an idea of what it's really like. I feel really pathetic writing this chapter, it's just me novelizing TB/5, adding a little Kakyou/Hokuto, and novelizing maybe TB/6 also. Well, enjoy.

* * *

Patting Subaru's head with worry as he coughed, Hokuto frowned, concerned. "Subaru-- "

Subaru gave his twin a reassuring smile and made himself appear healthy. "Don't worry Hokuto! The doctor said I only have a cold, so he gave me some medicine."

Not looking very convinced, Hokuto replied, "You're my only brother, it's typical for me to agonize about you... Subaru, I'm very troubled, seeing you like this... You often had lots of fevers when you were little, remember?" Subaru smiled again, thanking his sister. The speaker unexpectedly dinged, and a voice echoed in the room.

Sumeragi Subaru, Mr. Sumeragi... you are requested to pick up your medicine...

"Don't move, I'll go get them!" Hokuto declared sternly, and bounced up to retrieve Subaru's remedy.

"Thanks Hokuto," Subaru answered, relieved. As Hokuto waited, a little boy ran up and sat beside Subaru. "Did you come here alone?" There was a hint of concern in his voice. The boy nodded smiling and said that his mommy was coming for him that day. "You seem very mature!" Subaru answered, as the boy looked at him curiously.

Inquisitively, the boy asked him, "Do you have a cold?"

"Yes, but the doctor gave me a shot so I'll get better really fast. Do you also have a cold?"

The boy shook his head. "No. Look, there's the operating room I'll be at later." He pointed down a lengthy, dim hall. "I have to stay here while I'm waiting because it's not my turn yet, though."

Walking up, a nurse said kindly, "Yuuya, you can come now..."

Before going with her, Yuuya said, "Will you come back to the hospital soon?"

"Yes, I'll come back after tomorrow... to get my cold medication."

Yuuya chirped excitedly, "After tomorrow? What time? Same time as today? So, you can come see me! I'll be here everyday..."

"Everyday--?"

The nurse seemed impatient as she said, "Come, Yuuya, it's time..."

Still looking energetic, Yuuya piped up, "Okay! See you the day after tomorrow!" A woman met him as he was swept away, tired and smiling sadly at Yuuya, her son.

Hokuto came back cheerfully and handed Subaru the medicine. "I got your medicine! Here they are, Subaru. And... I've got a surprise for you! I found a chauffeur to take you home!" She laughed as she motioned to a tall figure walking up behind her.

"But... it's Seishirou!"

Seishirou looked cheerful as he greeted, "I'm your new chauffeur, Subaru! How are you?"

"Thanks, I'm much better... but... how did you know I was here?" Subaru asked inquisitively.

Smiling mischievously, Hokuto grew a cat tail as Seishirou replied, "When I came home, I found Hokuto's message on my answering machine telling me that my dear Subaru was at the hospital and that I should come quickly!"

Subaru seemed uncomfortable as he mumbled, "I'm sorry, I've gotten in the way of your job again..."

Smiling, Seishirou declared, "Of course not! I didn't falter for a second, I came here because I knew you needed me!" Hokuto laughed loudly as she clapped, "Bravo Seishirou! You got in a lot of points this time!" Seishirou looked determined as he proclaimed, "I'm Sakurazuka Seishirou and I'll do anything in my power to show my love for Subaru!"

Subaru blushed as he stammered, "S-Seishirou-san...!"

Hokuto stopped laughing for a second and looked thoughtful, asking Subaru, "By the way... who were you saying farewell to just now...?"

"To a little boy about ten years old... he comes to the hospital regularly..." Subaru looked slightly worried. "He told me he often comes alone..."

Seeming a bit troubled, Hokuto commented softly, "That must be very hard... a child so young... but what department is he in?"

Subaru pointed to the operation room Yuuya had indicated earlier. "He said he was going to the operation room over there, down the hall. He comes every day, apparently... I may come to see him, I have other medications to pick up the day after tomorrow..."

"I think that boy comes to the hospital for dialysis..." Seishirou remarked softly.

* * *

Tucked in bed already, Subaru thought to himself, thinking of Yuuya's smiling face, _How can he be so cheerful? He's dialysised..._

Outside his bedroom on the couch, Hokuto and Seishirou were talking, Hokuto seeming even more anxious than ever. "The place Subaru pointed out is the place they practice dialyses... that's why I think that that child must have trouble with his kidneys. Dialysis is indispensable to anyone who has dysfunctional kidneys, they need help from a particular machine two or three times a month. But in any case, the problem is always a hard thing to accept, but a little boy his age... it's even tougher, taking him to the hospital all the time..."

"That's terrible..." Hokuto said softly, faintly upset. "I just hope that Subaru doesn't get too worried about this boy..."

Seishirou smiled comfortably. "Hokuto, you are a very nice girl!" Hokuto didn't seem to be relieved by his compliment.

Quietly, she said, "No, it's not me who is nice... It's Subaru who's nice... Subaru's always had a tendency to be too caught up in the feelings of other people... when he sees others suffering, he suffers... he's very moved by human character, because he puts in himself completely every time he works..." Seishirou said nothing, showing no signs of surprise as Hokuto continued. "But Subaru has never gotten used to the cruelty of life, he probably has remembered every person he has met to this day, but most of them have already forgotten about him... But he won't forget them, all those memories in his mind, he'll never rid of them. Since we were children growing up together, I thought that with his nature, he'd never endure life... His soul was so pure that in the end it will break under the burden of life." She sighed. "But fortunately, Subaru loves nobody, so nothing's happened yet..."

"He feels strongly about you, Hokuto!" Seishirou said in an almost protesting voice.

Looking down sadly, she answered mellifluously, "Yes, that's true. But I'm... family... Subaru has much love to give, but he never thinks of himself... he's unable of being self-centered, and yet he worries about others as simply as breathing. But if he ever loves anyone in particular..." Her voice became fainter with every word. "And that person betrays him, I'm sure Subaru will... will die!"

Seishirou didn't seem troubled as he said contently, "Hokuto, you really are a sweet girl!"

Relaxing, Hokuto smiled graciously in return. "Oh, that kind comment deserves the house specialty! A cup of royal tea with mild... while I'm at it, I'll make some for Subaru, and maybe a hot ginseng drink too...?"

Smiling as Hokuto left the room to make the tea, he took off his glasses, an evil gleam in his eyes. _Such thoughtfulness, purity of soul... feelings I know nothing of... I believe the day of our bet draws near... Subaru-kun._

* * *

Walking in with a nurse and Yuuya's mother, a doctor asked the little boy, "So, are you doing okay Yuuya?" Yuuya agreed as his mother greeted him.

Abruptly, another nurse dashed in with a look of intense concern. "Doctor! We have a problem with room 302's patient!"

"Excuse me Yuuya, I'll be back later-- !" The doctor ran out from Yuuya's room in a hurry, looking worried. Subaru was watching Yuuya's mother, who had a strange look on her face before she followed after them. "Ma'am-- w-wait!"

"Your husband has encephalitis... for the moment he's breathing synthetically, but without the help of this machine, he won't live... I'm sorry... there's... no hope..." the doctor said softly to a distraught, crying woman.

Kneeling down before her cataleptic husband's bed, she sobbed, "My husband... my dear... my love..." She sniffed loudly.

Walking slowly into the room, Yuuya's mother bore a dark, frightening look on her face. "His kidneys. His kidneys... for Yuuya." Subaru's eyes widened as he protested loudly. "Ma'am! Wait! Ma'am!"

"Let me go! Maybe if I ask her... she might accept... Get lost!" Yuuya's mother replied fiercely, pushing Subaru away. "His heart will stop beating! Please! Let me go! Let me go! It's for Yuuya! My little Yuuya!"

Grabbing Yuuya's mother's hand, Seishirou stared into her eyes and said sternly, "You have a sick child ma'am... try to grasp what this woman is going through, scared at the thought of losing her husband. She knows there's no hope, but still, she keeps on praying... there is nothing more awful than watching someone's dearest fall ill and nothing else to be done but watch. For you, a man with encephala may be a dead man... but for his loved ones, he's still alive, breathing..."

Crying silently, Yuuya's mother whimpered as she attempted to calm down slowly, "I... know... I know how this woman feels, living with such a burden, and yet... what I wish is terrible... it's so horrible to be sick... to envy those who have the luck to be healthy... you may not understand ... but health is the most important thing for a human's life! Yuuya... Yuuya... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for not bringing you into the world healthy...!" She fell onto the ground, crying.

"Ma'am..." Subaru said softly.

* * *

"The disease is often very difficult for both the sick and their loved ones to accept... the poor woman, losing her first child at four years old from a kidney disease. A girl she named Maya. After becoming a widow, she lived only for her two children, and she knew at the time that they both suffered from the same disease... once she learned about it, she donated one of her own kidneys... to save one of her kids. Each normal human being has two kidneys, and it's possible to live normally with only one... but sadly, the mother had two children, and she was forced to choose between the two..."

"Finally, she chose Maya, but the kidney was rejected... the child was submitted to new dialysis, and her condition resumed worsening until she died during the winter four years ago... Yuuya's body might not reject a new kidney... he wouldn't have needed any more dialysis, if he had been chosen..."

* * *

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Subaru looked uncomfortable. "Ma'am..."

Ignoring him, Yuuya's mother continued to cry. "Yuuya... Maya... it's all my fault... nobody wants to give you their kidneys... Yuuya..."

"Ma'am..." he said softly.

She wasn't listening. "A kidney... for... Yuuya..."

"Ma'am...!"

"But you... you could give Yuuya a kidney... please... I beg of you..."

"Ma'am!"

"It must be done quickly... or... he will die..."

Subaru's eyes widened as he said frantically, "Ma'am! Listen to me! I'd be happy to give Yuuya my kidney! I'd be happy to..."

Still not listening, Yuuya's mother turned her back to Subaru and grabbed a knife, whispering ominously, "Yuuya!"

"SUBARU!" Hokuto screamed as she walked towards where Subaru and Yuuya's mother was, realizing something was horribly wrong.

"I must have a kidney... it doesn't matter whose it is!" Yuuya's mother swung the knife at Subaru, cutting him. As she tried to kill Subaru again, who stood there willing to give up his life for Yuuya...

Seishirou jumped in front of Subaru, the knife cutting into his eye. As blood splattered everywhere, his glasses were knocked off as Hokuto screamed. "Seishirou!"

"KYAAAAA!" Yuuya's mother attempted to attack again, stopped by Seishirou. Holding one hand over his bleeding eye, nurses and doctors grouped around him and the unstable woman.

Subaru watched in shock, pounding on the door behind which Seishirou was led away. "Seishirou! Seishirou! Seishirou... Seishirou! Seishirou!"

Hokuto looked saddened as she tried to stop Subaru from hurting himself further. "Subaru... Subaru, control yourself!"

"Seishirou! Seishirou! Seishirou!" Subaru sobbed miserably.

"Subaru..." Hokuto said softly, giving up her attempts to calm Subaru.

Sliding to the floor with stains of blood smearing down the door from his injured hand, he cried, "Seishirou!" The room darkened while Hokuto could do nothing but watch him powerlessly. "Sei... shi... rou..."

* * *

Behind a wall that divided his dreamseeing and his dreamscape, Kakyou sighed as he watched the scene play behind the thin barrier. _Hokuto's brother..._

* * *

You knew that this would happen, didn't you?

Hinoto-san...

That boy... will play a part... in the future of the earth.

That book you were reading... it was written by those who had spoken to dreamseers.

* * *

Hokuto didn't seem comforted as she entered Kakyou's dreamscape that night.

"Did you know that this would happen?" she asked softly, staring at the ground. She had not even given him their usual greeting of her hugging him and he being embarrassed.

"...Yes," Kakyou admitted quietly, feeling awkward at Hokuto's silence.

"Oh, okay," she replied quietly in a voice quite unlike her own. And then, "I'll be going, then."

Kakyou's eyes widened in alarm as he struggled to run after the departing Hokuto. "W-wait!" Turning around and staring at him blankly, she asked in an emotionless voice, "What is it?"

Cautiously, he asked, looking rather uncomfortable, "...Are you mad at me?"

Surprisingly, Hokuto gave him an emboldening smile and shook her head. "Of course not. Do you want me to stay? It'd be nice to talk, like we used to do... and maybe straighten out some issues that have been bothering me." Still a bit astonished, Kakyou nodded anxiously, wondering what exactly those predicaments were, although he had quite a good guess lingering in his mind. Changing the dreamscape to that of a café, he held the chair out for Hokuto to sit down, having acquired that habit from months of Hokuto's scolding.

Her smile seemed a little too fake as she sat down, straightening herself accordingly and then glancing at him contently. Then, unexpectedly, as he sat down, she glared straight into his eyes, only an inch or two's breadth between their faces. Still smiling falsely, she asked in a seemingly cheerful voice, "Why don't you ever tell me what you see in the future?"

Kakyou looked very uneasy and restless as he pondered his answer. "_Because you don't pay me for it like the politicians do_" seemed haughty and rude, and it appeared as only an excuse, it not being the reason. "_Because I don't like you_" was a definite don't, as that'd just completely ruin their relationship that they had spent months developing. "Because I care about you enough not to see you get hurt by what I see in my dreams. So I try to protect you from that, because isn't that what being in 'love' is all about? Trying to watch over the one you love so they won't be sad, even if you know it's not that effective?" He sighed, and finished, "Hokuto-chan... please understand that..."

She resisted herself from raising an eyebrow. Yet she still felt, in spite of all her momentary anger, that what he'd said was true. "Are you sure you love me?"

That question took Kakyou aback.

"What?" he exclaimed incredulously, and then added hastily, "of course I do!" He blushed almost instantaneously.

Hokuto looked sullen and reserved as she said in a voice almost lower than a whisper, "You say you love me, but what kind of love do you mean? I try to protect Subaru, but that's just because of our blood relation, and that I'm really quite fond of him, and I'm his twin sister. I don't... really think you love me."

Kakyou stared.

Suppressing a snicker, he attempted to reply as seriously as he could while staring back into her eyes-- they were still quite close to each other, and he could feel her breath on his cheeks-- and said, "Hokuto-chan, I _do_ love you... before you happened to wander in my dream, I didn't really think my existence mattered at all. But now, it does, to at least one person..." He paused, and for a brief moment sudden panic flooded his face. "I do matter something to you... right?" he stammered frantically.

Staring at Kakyou skeptically for a few minutes, Hokuto's face remained empty and expressionless. The imagined animosity between them increased with every second that they remained so dangerously, closely aligned. The rising tension augmented and heightened hazardously. Their faces remained eerily adjacent and their eyes were burning through each other with vacancy and hollowness. It would have been a rather frightening sight, but the supposed, visualized café was empty, save for them, so there was nobody to see them and remark on the alarming aura of the scene.

Then, in a sudden burst of laughter, Hokuto erupted into giggles. "Ohohohohohoho!" Giving Kakyou a quick kiss on the lips, she grinned and piped up, beaming brightly, "Oh, don't worry Kakyou-kun! I know you're there for me." She sighed and gave him an apologetic smile. "Although, I'm not sure if you'll be able to understand... I've already told you so many times before about Subaru's purity..." She looked thoughtful, and then her eyes widened as she glanced at the nearby clock. "Is it already almost dawn?" She swore, and then grimaced. "We spent too much time staring at each other," she proclaimed, glaring playfully at Kakyou, who had nothing else to do except grin sheepishly in return.

Sighing, Hokuto sipped the last of her coffee and looked pensive. "I'll see you soon, I guess?" There was a hint of hesitation and uncertainty in her voice, and he could sense it, although he didn't mention it.

"Yeah," Kakyou managed to reply, smiling broadly.

* * *

A gentle ringing of the telephone, soft yet loud. Hokuto winced-- it added to her already constantly growing headache, since she had been poring over her homework for quite some time and still couldn't seem to understand it. Grudgingly, she took the phone anyway, warily cradling the receiver in her hand.

"...Obaachan? What's wrong?"

Silence. It was foreboding. And then an elderly voice answered solemnly, "Subaru-san's friend... Sakurazuka Seishirou. After some suspicion, I did some inquiries and investigating. And... he is...

_the Sakurazukamori._"

There was a sudden, sharp gasp, and Hokuto dropped the phone in alarm.

Subaru had just left her apartment after a hearty meal...

to visit Seishirou.

* * *

Notes: Not too fond of the first half of the chapter, but I make it up to myself in the remaining portions. Finally leaving off at a cliffhanger. Although I admit the previous chapters weren't so good, I really am fond of this project and hope to finish totally in May so I can work on my new story, _Within My Own Prison_. If you like Fuuma/Kamui please give it a try.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! sigh The next one's to be the last.


	8. death

**By Your Side.  
**"**Death."**

Sumeragi Sui.

* * *

Warnings: SPOILERS UP UNTIL TOKYO BABYLON 7. And maybe X/16 while we're at it. 

Disclaimers: CLAMP owns the lovely TB girls and boys, they're just on lease for me. And excerpts of TB/7 and X/16 in story format. The lullaby was my creation, rather random too (could you tell?).

Notes: This is the end. There is an epilogue. It's been over a year since I promised the end of this fic, I know. It's been my longest, it's been my baby, and I'll certainly miss it (after I'm done with the epilogue). I almost forgot my own storyline and such. I had a first draft of this last chapter, which is lost on my old computer and I'm too lazy to get it.

At first I was going to finish this without Hokuto and Kakyou meeting again, but as I was nearing the end I realized it made the whole chapter almost rather pointless. Then again, their meeting wasn't too exciting anyway. Ah well.

Please note that this is probably the last fics I'll ever publish again on I have also edited all past works/chapters of this slightly. They are now to be found at pyreflies.nu/yoru , along with any other future stories. Don't get me wrong, I love writing, I'm not going to finish writing, fanfiction or original, it's just that I don't think FFN is the right place for me. I've never felt too at home here.

Haha, this is starting to sound angstier than the story itself! Anyway, I've just been in a writing mood lately, so yeah. I never had side stories, either. Well, maybe they weren't necessary, for a fic with two main characters.

I hope you all enjoy. And my last words are...

HOKUTO/KAKYOU FOREVER.

Hehe.

(Well, maybe not last. There IS an epilogue, after all. But it will be so painfully short it'll barely count. So, yeah. I really hope the last chapter is not complete crap.)

* * *

Death. 

What is death?

The end of everything,  
The beginning of everything,  
The end of nothing.

I'll see you again someday.

* * *

_Hokuto-chan?_

Drip.

A faucet was leaking, somewhere, far, far in the distance.

Far, far, far...

_Ho... ku...

* * *

_

"Subaru..."

Sumeragi Hokuto was crying, almost uncharacteristic for her cheery disposition. Her twin, the brother that looked almost identical to her, was almost... worse than dead. Maybe she couldn't understand it as well as the other onmyouji did, maybe she couldn't save him the way the other onmyouji could--

But she had her own ways. There may not be so many ways for her to save her brother but her own, and that was the sacrifice she had to make. She knew Subaru; as kind as he was, he was also stubborn. And he'd never had his heart broken-- _broken_, not only his heart but his whole self, shattered into a million tiny jagged pieces, dangerous if you stepped on them barefoot-- before this.

"Please... come back."

The smile that shone on her face was one of sadness, desperation for her brother to return from Within, to return from the chambers of torture he had crafted for himself, so as to break himself further.

She would find the man that did this to Subaru-- made Subaru feel, made Subaru break, as he was only the most fragile of porcelain dolls, anyway; Hokuto was made of plush, unbreakable without brute force-- and do the only thing she was able to do to save her twin.

She was not a fully skilled onmyouji. She had not been born as Clan Head. She only had this, her trite little spell that she would use, because she trusted _him_, the Sakurazukamori, never... never, ever to invoke it. She trusted him, even after all he had done to Subaru. After all, she still liked him. She would never forgive him for what he did, but she still considered him her friend.

This was Hokuto's logic.

When it came to her brother, it almost hadn't even occurred to her to think of Kakyou. Maybe that was how she was selfish; putting her blood, her mirror image first. Or maybe she had already suspected... He knew, didn't he? That was what he foresaw, from the first day that they met?

He understood why she had to do it, either way. She was sure of it.

* * *

"_Hokuto-chan..._

_What's your **Wish**?"_

_She didn't answer. Questions like this, she never answered. Though she loved Kakyou, really she did, he may never understand the simple fact that, in her world, her brother always came first._

_Always._

There was only time for one last visit.

It was to be brief, and it was not going to explain anything.

But then again, he had already known what was going to happen.

"Hi."

Kakyou smiled weakly at the girl standing in the doorway of the elegant, old-fashioned house of his dreamscape, and returned the greeting. "Hi."

"I hope all goes well for you."

It seemed all too awkward, too weird for her to say something like this. She wasn't going to tell him what she was going to do; he was never going to ask.

But he was able to muster a real grin this time, and managed to say, "Yeah, I hope it goes well for you too. Good luck."

"_Good luck? For what, Kakyou-chan?"_

That was what she would have said.

But it didn't matter anymore; there would soon be no more, and an infinite number of "would have" would follow.

"Thanks."

The silence seemed all too pregnant, too tense for both of them. The air was filled with thought goodbyes and emotions that were to never be voiced again.

"You're welcome."

"I'm going to go..." Hokuto trailed off absentmindedly.

Kakyou muttered something under his breath.

_I love you._

She didn't notice. "Did you say something, Kakyou?" she asked, merely out of politeness rather than true curiosity.

"Bye."

And that was it.

* * *

"Is it going to happen, now?" 

Tortured, talking to himself-- it was only a matter of days, weeks, maybe a month. Her brother was Within, a place even dreamseers could not hope to enter, a place of wonder and hope and-- no, that wasn't right-- death and sorrow and pain and hurt and hatred, hatred for... who? He felt a sickened chuckle reach his throat. He was being selfish, crafting hatred out of nonexistent air, so that he could find some way to relate to her, to him, to everyone... but he was stuck here.

It would be bleak and lonely without her. It would... be worse than death. Perhaps he'd go Within too, after what was foreseen happened. Yet there was no reason to go Within; he was living within a Within of himself, the Within of all of the cursed dreamseers...

She would never visit him again. Not now, not ever, not even if she found the will to sleep after her long days of search. No last words of any true substance, except for the "I'll see you soon, I guess?" of their meeting before last.

"I guess."

What was Kakyou's wish? Maybe it was that she didn't have to die. That the man named Sakurazuka Seishirou never even existed, never had to ruin everything for everyone, destroy Hokuto's brother, cause Hokuto's death...

Hokuto had always remained silent when Kakyou posed his curious questions; "What's your wish?"

But within himself, he had already found the answer, an answer he had foreseen even the first day... the first day he had met a charming, cute girl who wasn't just "anyone"...

* * *

...far, far away. 

_...to._

In his mind, he played a little game with himself.

In the game, he had never foreseen anything the first day he had meet Hokuto. He had never had to meet Hokuto's twin brother or her friend, he had never had to been threatened by the man to not reveal the future.

The only remaining piece of the game that was yet to be relinquished, eliminated, was the memory of Hokuto at all. That would stay. He would keep her there forever, even if he would break...

In the game, he pretended he didn't know what would happen.

It was the game of denial, after all.

"_I can't see her."_

Talking to himself again.

"_But... why?_

_She's not here."_

He didn't know why she was not there.

Otherwise, he'd be cheating in the game.

"_The twin she spoke of so many times...  
__Did something happen?  
__To keep her awake?"_

He had never known much about her twin, anyway. She didn't talk too much of him.

He was good at this game.

At this point, images began to flood into his mind.

* * *

A man and a girl were standing in front of a sakura tree, petals falling gracefully in a whirlwind of emotion-- or lack thereof-- pretty petals, white stained with blood... how peculiar, a man with eyes of different colors and a girl donning an odd arrangement of clothes. 

"You broke our promise."

The man seemed feignedly curious and asked conversationally, "Oh? I don't know what you mean."

"Didn't I tell you before?

...Don't take Subaru away from me."

The girl's face was full of unreadable emotions, emotions the man had never admitted to experiencing. He replied plainly, "But Subaru's in his room right now."

A flash of sadness crossed her features, the same features that the person who this man damaged bore.

"You took his heart away, and it won't come back." The man simply looked bemused as she continued fiercely. "So I will cast a spell on you. Because you are the Sakurazukamori, any prey that you have marked will die. But... I'll never let you kill Subaru! I'll never let you kill him!"

The man smiled. A mocking smile, the same smile he'd donned as he informed Subaru of the bet he had forgotten. The same smile on his face when Subaru broke. That wicked smile.

"With your strength, you can't kill me. And a Sakurazukamori will always exist."

The girl looked determined. "I know..." She paused for the slightest moment. "But I have spells that only I can use, because I know the Sakurazukamori's real identity."

"So hurry, and kill me!"

_Kakyou became suddenly fearful, the most horrible feeling sticking in his chest, hope and crushed hope-- for after all, the future was foreordained, nothing could stop it... he closed his eyes... maybe then, it would never have happened._

_If he hadn't seen it, maybe it would never have happened._

_If he had just closed his eyes..._

_Refused to see it..._

_Maybe he could have changed her fate..._

The man raised his arm, hand ready to strike.

_Kakyou knew what was going to happen._

_In the real world..._

_He stood up._

_He paid no attention to the rest of the real world... only insistent on reaching Hokuto, perhaps saving her, it was impossible, yet--_

_He began to run, his breath fast and body inexperienced to even walking, traces of telltale tears in his eyes, faster, faster, had to reach her before it was too late..._

_He barely even noticed the men required to guard him, sunglasses and black coats, who had began to run after him as well, caught up, a gun, a few bullets..._

_They hit his arm, and then his back-- it just would not do to have their valuable weapon in the "outside" world, able to give information to others-- red spotted and marked his traditional clothes, what was he to do now, he couldn't even hear anything anymore, could only see Hokuto, see her..._

With unmatched speed, the man's hand stabbed the girl's chest as she clutched the fabric of his suit to prevent herself from falling, to delay her death a few more moments, to tell him of the spell.

Blood spilled violently out of the girl's body from her chest and back. The man's hand, delicate fingers, was disgustingly bloodied dark red.

"Subaru will be very sad because of your death," he said simply, as if the aftermath of killing someone had room for pleasant, polite conversation. His eyes possessed an almost sadistic gleam.

The girl's breaths were short and forced. "Yes, I know... but, I... hope he can live on... it's very stubborn of me, I know... My death will make Subaru feel that he would rather be dead. But even so, even if this is selfish of me... All I want... All I wish for, is for you... and Subaru... to live."

The man seemed genuinely surprised at this. "Why would you want me to live? I've hurt Subaru, and I'm killing you."

She closed her eyes. "That's true, yet... I still don't want you to die." She gripped his arm and opened her eyes to smile, pain showing in her face. "Even if you are a murderer, I still like you a lot. The only one who can kill you is Subaru, and the only one who can kill Subaru is you..."

"I have used my last strength for this spell... If you ever try to kill Subaru... the same way you have used to kill me... it will reflect onto yourself..."

He held her head daintily. "You have sacrificed your life for this spell... but why are you telling me what it will do?"

She took his hand and smiled with effort. "If I didn't tell you, it would be meaningless. There's no need for this spell to ever be used... I'm trusting you... one last time."

"I'm not a man that deserves your trust."

She smiled tenderly and looked at him. "I know.

But you are special to Subaru... so I want to be able to... hope for you... do not forget..."

She put her hand up to his face softly and smiled one last time. "Even if you have sins that cannot be forgiven, you are still allowed to love... Seishirou..."

He looked surprised for a moment, and then smiled, a kinder smile than the last, as if he was touched-- or capable of being touched. The girl began to fall backwards, and as her body began to merge with the sakura, she muttered, "Su... ba... ru..."

* * *

A sad, almost depressed-looking building stood amongst dying trees. 

In one of the building's rooms, there was a bed. A man slept there, his beautiful, long hair swept and spread out over the sheets. A beeping noise of a machine interrupted the otherwise silent feelings in the room.

"It's one of those politician people. We should leave him alone."

"But he looks like he's sleeping... is he sick? In a coma?"

"All he does is sleep. Let's not bother him, we're not supposed to be in here anyway. We need to go back to cleaning."

"...Alright..."

They never noticed the tears in his eyes.

* * *

**ANNEX / SECRET**

"Kakyou-chan, do you ever get rest?"

Kakyou was surprised at this question; after all, the only thing he could do was sleep. "Of course. I'm sleeping right now, aren't I? That's how I've been able to see you?"

The girl shook her head and laughed. "No, no, that's not what I mean." She looked thoughtful, the same way she did when she had first pondered the best location for their first date. "I mean... when you're not talking to me, or seeing dreams of the future, you know... do you ever have a 'normal' dream? Do you ever get 'real' rest?"

Confused, he shrugged. "I... don't know what you're asking, Hokuto-chan..."

She smiled at him lovingly. "You're so adorable, Kakyou-chan. Even though you see dreams of the future, and you are so... _old_, hehe"-- she giggled sheepishly-- "you don't seem you've really experienced real life!"

He tried to understand her, and seemed to try to remember something from his childhood. "Now that you talk about it, I think I remember dreaming when I was a child. Real dreams, I suppose. But that was... so long ago, I barely remember. Probably when I was seven or eight..."

She seemed pleased, and also remembered that her own brother's powers began to truly develop at around the same age. Even so, her face began to look troubled. "But, you probably miss it, don't you..." she murmured to herself. "I know!" Kakyou blushed; whenever she got one of her "ingenious" ideas, it usually ended up with him becoming utterly embarrassed. "You can try to have a real dream, right now! I'll try to get you to _really_ sleep... not like this, but so you can have a 'real' dream!"

"But... how is that possible?"

She laughed, oh, what a wonderful laugh, it always made him smile no matter how hard he resisted-- "Ohohohohohoho! But _nothing's_ impossible, Kakyou dear! Anything's possible!" She grinned. "I can sing you a lullaby."

"A... lullaby?"

She nodded happily. "Yeah! Just close your eyes, Kakyou-chan, and leave the rest to me!"

Kakyou closed his eyes obediently, slightly apprehensive but at the same time excited-- he hadn't _really_ dreamed in years, perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea after all...

She began to sing. Her voice was more beautiful than when she had sung Hamasaki Ayumi karaoke; this time, she really put her soul into her voice-- she wanted to sing the most beautiful song, only for Kakyou.

And so she sang, with a voice that almost moved Kakyou to tears, the most wonderful feeling, love, this was _happiness_, if he had not met her he would not have known what to do to regain any sense of life...

The voice of an angel. His angel.

_When I was a little girl, my mother told me  
__I could be, whatever I wished to be  
__I could do, whatever I wished to do  
__I could see, whatever I wished to see_

_So I wished to be a beautiful girl  
__To be someone sensible and fun  
__To also be cute and courteous  
__And considerate of everyone_

_So I wished to do a million things  
__To do something nobody else had before  
__To do something to save the world  
__To do something meaningful_

_So I wished to see anything wonderful  
__To see what nobody else had seen before  
__To see nature and love and happiness  
__But most of all, to see my true love_

_So I became a beautiful girl  
__And I did a million things  
__But I never "saw" my true love  
__Because I am still seeing him._

And when he finally fell "asleep", finally rest, his dream could only be completely full of her.

**annex.secret /end**

* * *

_When I woke up from the shock of my sister's death..._

_I gave up my dream for him._

_Afterwards, a girl told me these words;_

"_Maybe all the people who do bad things are just..._

_lonely."

* * *

_

"**BY YOUR SIDE" - TOKYO BABYLON, KAKYOU/HOKUTO. 20042005.**

**- THE END. -**


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